I haven't posted here for a long time. To be honest, it's not because of lack of content. It's because I can't nail down one topic long enough to make a post worth while. My thoughts are flying all over the place. Here are the highlights:
1. My faith and new church and my parents' reactions.
2. What is motherhood? What does it mean that for some women in certain situations that there has to be a qualifier? How do I reconcile the differences between being Emma's adoptive mother and Allison's mother? Does the qualifier make my relationship to Emma more or less special? What about Allison? If I just call myself Allison's mother, what does that mean? If there are terms for first mothers and adoptive mother and foster mothers, ought there not be a different use of the word mother for women who give birth to and raise a child?
3. There seem to be similarities in post-partum experiences between women whose pregnancies end in adoption and those who suffer from PPD. Can you place a child for adoption and not experience PPD? How would a parenting mother's experiences with PPD change had she chose not to parent? Just curious.
4. What do you say to people who have lost a child?
5. Did I really go to school to end up here?
6. Why is it that every time I attempt to watch a serious news programs that the discussion is inevitibly about Anna Nicole and Britney? Isn't that what the tabloids are for?
That's all, folks!
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2 comments:
THERE IS NO QUALIFIER BETWEEN BEING EMMA'S ADOPTIVE MOTHER AND ALLISON'S BIRTH MOTHER. THERE SHOULD BE NO DIFFERENCE. YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER -PERIOD. AND NO, THERE SHOULD BE NO DIFFERENT WORD FOR MOTHERS WHO ADOPT AND MOTHERS WHO GIVE BIRTH. BOTH ARE VERY SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT HAVING THE CHILDREN GROW UP WITH A DIFFERENCE IN THE WAY THEY CAME INTO YOUR FAMILY SHOULD BE A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE AND NOT BE MADE A BIG DEAL OF. I DO NOT THINK YOU WOULD WANT ALLISON TO ONE DAY TELL EMMA THAT SHE IS MORE SPECIAL BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILD. EMMA WOULD THEN BE THE ONE TO SUFFER FROM "THE DIFFERENCE".
I completely agree with you. My line of thinking was about semantics and my own identity. I love both of my daughters equally. Each way they entered the family had its pluses and minuses and both were special. I'm just wondering how I can differentiate in writing when I need to the difference in that arrival without always doing that in regards to my motherhood of Emma.
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